Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Weird questions? May be not.

Walk into one of these glassy and glossy malls which throng most of urban India and of the many things the one thing in particular that catches my attention are the abundant number of "couples" that I see moving there. Pairs of guys and girls in the age group of around 17 to 30.

(Disclaimer: I have no experience of having been to any place ever in my life with another girl. I have neither ever been on any date nor have I ever asked any girl out. My maximum experience in these directions is to have danced with some girl at a ball or parties or dandiya. So all that I am writing here stems from what I observe around me.

Further it will be apparent that all my discussions are biased towards the heterosexual relations since I don't have much understanding of the homosexual relations. Of course this bias is not because I am against homosexuality but simply because I have never interacted with any homosexual. Along the similar lines my discussions also completely exclude eunuchs since again I have no interaction with them and hence a lack of understanding of them. Of course homosexuals and eunuchs are very much part of the human society and ideally any human issue should also include them but somehow this wretchedly biased society has so surgically excluded them from the mainstream that so many people live all their life with no understanding of them but only filled with socially grown repulsion for them for no logical reason. )

These couples are seen hanging around in the Barista or the Cafe-Coffee Day or any of these kind of hangouts. Its such an amazing phenomenon that is happening around me that has always baffled me. How come these pairs of guys and girls happen to meet and like each other? How many of these pairs are in love? How many of these pairs are just bonded by sexual attraction for each other? How many of them are just having a casual time out with the other and how many of them will end up living together for a life time? Anyway to begin with it seems that an highly improbable statistics has worked in their favour that they found a person to go out with!

Let us focus on that section of these couples which plan to have children and set up a family in the conventional sense. From what I get to hear and see around me it seems that this section is pretty large. And what I also infer from what I hear from others is that the guys involved in the relationship are pretty keen to have children. (I am not aware as to what is the general feminine standpoint but I have heard some women say that for the stability of a relationship it is important to have children. For some reason beyond my comprehension many guys feel this instinct to have children and have a family. Note: this feeling goes much beyond just sexual drive. I somehow don't seem to comprehend why 2 people in love can't just be happy living together without having children.)

But somehow again by some weird statistics these things fit together and many of these couples marry and also have children and probably their children will also fit into these statistics and they will also feel the need to marry and have children and somehow this cycle keeps going on. And the weird thing is that this instinctive cycle is not just restricted to the section of people I started out with who had out in the malls but cuts right across all social, economic, linguistic or cultural divisions.

A large section of the people right from the people living in deadly poverty in the most terrible slums of India to the richest and the glamorous of the society...this one instinct equalizes them all...the instinct to have children and to set up a family..the instinct to have a next generation with a hope that my son/daughter will have a better life than mine and will live a better life than mine. The guy in the slum dreams that his son will have a good job and will have a house of his own and the guy leading a large business group dreams that his son will take the business to new heights.

{Why isn't it possible to explain to that poor guy living in the slums that if you don't have enough money to support yourself properly then how do you hope to bring up a one more child? I simply don't understand how these simple logic get washed by this weird instinct to pass on the genetic code! This instinct is unexplainable to say the least.}

{ I am deliberately using "son" here since I can't forget the extreme gender inequality that India has where the society is light-years away from looking at men and women on equal footing. Indian society commits a million crimes against women everyday germinating from the thousands of years old gender bias ingrained into it. Unless the women in every home actually start realizing and fighting for their independence and equality in their own family then this male chauvinistic society of India is never going to change and it will keep teaching in the books to children "Mother cooks food for the family". I just hated this statement in the books right since I was in kindergarten. My mother was first my teacher and given that she is a doctor she was also the first medical help. She taught me basic geometry (much before school taught me these things in class 6, my mother taught me to construct the incircle and circumcircle of a triangle when I was pretty young and all mathematics till I could start reading things on my own from class 3 or 4 and of course taught me a lot of biology. In no way can I imagine my mother as the one "who cooks food for the family". And of course she almost saved me from various things that were beyond my control and could have potentially completely jeopardized my life...things that I can't share here. And later in my life it was to my mother that I disclosed and cried when my fist serious love in life crashed...it is just amazing as to how much I could share with my mother that I could go and tell her of one of the biggest disasters in my life when I lost my first serious love.

How many of these girls that I see hanging around in the malls if they become mothers later in their life will be mothers like mine?

And coming back to that cycle that I was talking of. It seems to just go one without any rhyme or reason. And then this society will complaint that the world is getting polluted, that plastic is choking this earth, that there is less space to live etc. etc. Every generation comes in full of this instinct to pass on the genetic code and then what follows is simply a consequence. And definitely human beings haven't been built to adapt to nature but has a weird piece of brain attached on the top of the shoulders which comes up with all possible ways to bend nature to fit its needs and obviously nature back fires. And yet this society keeps producing new human beings who with every passing generation will live in more and more polluted earth and in smaller and smaller boxes that chequer the cities.

And then given this unstoppable cycle of reproduction, the society goes in search of producing more life sources from lesser and lesser raw material and will keep growing more and more sophisticated industries and more and more genetically engineered seeds to grow more crops out of less land. And then this cycle gets to the limit of its recursive stupidity when we keep expanding the cities and keep eating into the the crop lands and convert them into industries and keep complaining that resources are going down.

On one hand we keep reducing the available land to cultivate and on the other hand we come up with weirdly engineered seeds to grow more out of less land. Isn't it obvious that this process of indiscriminate expansion will only backfire.

Every generation will see pairs of couples populating the glossy malls and using up watts of energy to run these huge AC malls and guzzling gallons of coke in plastic bottles without any thought as to what will happen to the plastic. And these couples in the malls give birth to another generation of couples who will again populate the newer and probably bigger malls in the next generation and will drink more gallons of coke and will throw the plastic bottles.

Why are we as a society collectively failing to prevent this stupid recursive cycle of reproducing purely driven by illogical instincts and then producing more plastic waste and reducing crop land and increasing industries and then eating genetically grown food.

Why can't we stop this mindless circle?

Why does falling in love and sexual attraction have to lead to increasing the population?
Why do these fundamental emotions have to lead to self-destruction of the society?